FROM ZERO TO SIXTY TO ONE BILLIONTY BACK TO ZERO

The apotheosis and descent of viral popularity can be measured by telephone calls.

On one’s way up the ladder leading to viral and explosive success, one’s phones (yes you will need more than one) ring off the hook.

The calls come in willy nilly! It’s all you can do to answer them all! The ONLY phone calls you make are return calls.

This lasts a while. But if you are a wingnut, loco, Koo Koo Banana, this will only be temporary. And the next stage will be fewer phone calls. And, in fact, you will have empty time on your hands wherein you will have to actually PLACE calls. This will make you grumpy.

This will accelerate your descent back into anonymity from whence you came. You will alienate so many people with your tonal “edge” that the phone calls will become scarce and far between.

And, of course, the time will finally arrive when the telephone stops ringing altogether. And any calls you make will be answered by a third or fourth assistant and never put through.

It is at this point that there will be only one course of action left. And that will be to return to Alaska and sit sipping cider on your porch, watching for incoming from Russia.

I.B. Crabby

Maaaayyyyybbbeee

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