It’s that magic time of year again. All our precious young are returning to school where their minds and their lives will be guided and inspired and molded by those most important of all workers – teachers!

But wait! Perhaps they are not so very important! Perhaps we have been too soft; too generous; too lavish with our money and our appreciation of them!

Certainly the folks on the New Berlin Wisconsin school board feel this way.

Can you imagine, the teachers in New Berlin, Wisconsin actually wasted their unused sickleave hours by putting them in a bank for seriously ill colleagues! There is a reason people get sick! It’s God’s way of thinning the herd and these teachers are trying to help them?

They’ve been getting paid overtime too!! Well of course, not for grading papers at home till 10:00 or preparing lessons over the summer or for coming in early to meet with students with issues – but still, overtime! Can you imagine. Thank goodness now they will no longer get this luxury in New Berlin, they will have “stipends” or some kind of trade of dairy products or something. Plus they will have to prove they deserve their job by working 205 hours more without pay for Elementary teachers and 95 hours more for secondary teachers!

And apparently the teachers in New Berlin are sex-crazed, exhibitionistic sluts! Now they MUST wear skirts below their naughty knees and no sweatshirts or jeans or “come-hither” open shirts! The Amish could not do any better!

Then there were the distractions that constantly took these lazy scofflaw teachers away from their appointed and over paid task of molding the minds of our next generation – things like eating. Now there will be no more microwaves, refrigerators or coffeemakers! If they HAVE to eat, they must contain this to their potty breaks, which have (over generously if you ask the N.B. school board) not been revoked, and keep it to tidy packaged items like power bars or something.

And last, but not least – if any slacker teachers think of applying for the extolled position of New Berlin Wisconsin teacher from now on – well there will be no retirement insurance for you – you greedy money grubber!! In fact, if you started working there after 2001 – there will be no more of that nonsense.

Thank the gracious Good Lord that those loyal and righteous conservative talk radio fans were willing to drive out in the balmy late summer air to jeer and heckle the teachers and union representatives who have just lost all their collective bargaining rights and were being introduced to this fair and balanced new handbook! What would we do without those dedicated folks?

*ahem* ….I, for one, would like to try.

And we get to look forward to the next generation who will grow up and administer OUR “entitlements” that we’ve spent all our working lives paying for. Yes. Imagine how well educated they will be when the kind of scofflaw, slutty teachers of the New Berlin, Wisconsin ilk are finally run out of town!

*ahem* …..French Tahiti looks better all the time.

I.B. Crabby

Tell Mrs. Crabby all!

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