VACATION FARE: A GIANT PLATEFUL OF GAJA

Planning your summer vacation? Desiring an distant and exotic locale? But stuck with a tight budget? I’ve got just the place for you! Visit scenic Somalia! Believe me, your dollar will go a long long way. Just make sure that you pack enough food to last your entire trip. Because there is no more food in Somalia.

That’s right! Not having any pesky government regulations to deal with since 1991 Al Shabab now runs things their way even with 6,000 pesky Ugandan and Burundian “peacekeepers” trying to protect the Somalis. Silly peacekeepers!

Since there is no television or movies allowed by the Al Shabab, they have stepped up to provide most of the country’s entertainment which consists of cutting off citizens’ hands and public execution by stoning, just for starters!

The weather is warm and balmy, but ladies, make sure to pack enough brassieres, because you won’t find any for sale there. The Al Shabab have forbidden them.

No, that just isn’t enough to recommend Somalia as a vacation haven! The country has been accused of experiencing a terrible drought. They just don’t want to tell you that there is no uncomfortable humidity. The United Nations is helping to keep Somalia the best kept vacation secret in the world by by officially declaring a famine. (Note, they are not using the “official” term for starvation that we use here for our citizens in the U.S.: “food insecurity”. That tells you it’s a diversion!)

You can see then why your tourist budget will be more than sated by Somalia’s low travel rates! In fact, there are no booking fees! for hotel rooms! You might not even need a hotel in some areas as many people seem to be leaving and their homes are just up for grabs!

Hurry and make your reservations now. Right after you finish eating!

I.B. Crabby

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Tell Mrs. Crabby all!