Not all that long ago we had literature to capture our interest. From epic novels to serial dime novels, the written word captured our attention and kept us riveted to wild West adventures, Victorian love triangles and epic war stories.

In a few short decades we have moved through a literary based entertainment sourced crowd to a sound bite crowd. We are in the world of instant serotonin pings in 140 words or less, cat pictures with misspelled captions, and badly filtered photos with treakly admonitions to love everything around us.

Longer stories have become irrelevant. Older people have become irrelevant.

In society, when you have become an older person whose story is longer than 33 years, you usually have also become irrelevant. Unless you’re stinking rich and can buy relevancy. Or you have a passel of children dependent on your purse strings. But even then, nothing you say is usually relevant.

Don’t let yourself become irrelevant. You’ve invested time, money and treachery to last this long. Do not let that go to waste!! You don’t need a lot. Only 140 words or less. Make yourself an interesting sound bite.

If you are ignored in public places, ignored by waiters, receive your utility bills addressed to “Occupant,” are asked “Have you met my grandma?” by your grandchildren, or are asked “are you still here?” by your husband, it’s time to get on the stick and become relevant again.

Do bizarre things. Wear enormous sunglasses to the supermarket and have your grandchildren follow you around dressed in minion costumes.  Sit on whoopee cushions at church pot luck dinners. Paint giant stick figure portraits of your family and hang them up at holiday visit time, telling them you’ve taken up painting.

Tell people exactly what you think. Don’t be shy. Tell that homeless man he smells like death!

When you get bored. Leave. Even if it’s in the middle of a funeral.

Pierce things! All three of your chins.

Think outside the box! Make sure you do something in your day to get someone’s attention, unless it involves a need for law enforcement. Or the IRS.

You only need 140 words or less. Don’t let yourself be irrelevant. Go get your 15 seconds of fame.

interesting woman





IB Crabby

Tell Mrs. Crabby all!

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