Dear Mrs. Crabby,

I have a terrible problem. After many years of taking care of people around me, I actually have some opportunity now to have time with nothing to do. But I can’t relax! It’s very sad. I tried taking a lavendar bath and then spent twice as long cleaning the tub afterwards. On a nice getaway with my husband, I walked around cleaning up after the hotel housekeeping people were finished. You just wouldn’t believe the things they miss! But, Mrs. Crabby, I am so very tired. How can I learn to switch from this terrible urge to always have something to do, to being able to enjoy having nothing to do!


Twisty Twyla


Dear TT,

Yours is not an unusual dilemma in the USA. This is because of our dedication to living for work. In other countries, the goal is working to live. Either way you’ll live, but one style is a lot more fun. For some reason, we Americans have decided that guilt is a requirement for a so-called “good” life. We are such silly billies!

I would suggest that you not give up having “things to do,” but rather, when it’s time to relax, change-up your chores. For example, when on a nice holiday, book a massage or a mani/pedi for something to do. Or things like a facial.  If you’re on a strict budget, book an at home “spa day” in your own bathroom. Make an arrangement for another family member to clean up after you so you don’t spoil it with worrying about the tub scum line. Use home kitchen ingredients to make yourself a lovely facial mask. Self care and meal planning all in one!

For some different and fun ways to relax, you might want to try some of these –

~Snake Massage Tell yourself that if you don’t relax here, the snakes will feel it and revolt!

~Geisha Facial Also known as the “Bird Poop Facial” as it uses powdered nightingale poo. Just be careful not to mistake the powder as coffee creamer.

~Fanny Facial Haven’t been to the beach or pool awhile? Clean up your hiney with one of these pre-relaxing relaxers! The best way to sit on a happy face, hons.

~Laughing Yoga

Orange sheet optional. For extra fun and relaxation, try this while you are out doing errands. You will probably get faster service and thus have even more time to relax!

Think outside the box, hon. Try to give youself at least twenty minutes a day to sit and do nothing. You might need to try this at the end of the day with a couple of shots of tequila to get started. But try something!

The path to nothingness will require stripping off your chores, like an airport live nude lap dancer.

IB Crabby


Tell Mrs. Crabby all!

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