IN OTHER NEWS

Hons, it’s been a huge week of political news. SCOTUS decisions have sent us reeling in shock from the voting rights issue to dancing for joy over the decision on DOMA and California’s Proposition 8. Then there was the highly publicized slip down the butter mountain of Paula Deen.

I just want to make sure that you don’t miss other important stories of the week, so as a public service I will update you on back stories.

An enterprising guinea pig aficionado fashioned a guinea pig sized suit of armor and put it up for auction on eBay. It sold for $24,300. Personally, I am now inspired to start knitting tiny ponchos for parakeets.

Poor Gerard Streator was arrested for having sex with a couch. He is now ordered by the court to avoid watching pornography. I, for one, am avidly interested to know how the court plans to enforce this order.

Here is Kirby de Lanerolle. He is a “Breatharian.” He claims to eat only ten times a year and survives on “photons and light and vibrations and wind.” He looks to be pretty hale and healthy. Others have tried this lifestyle and not enjoyed the level of success that Kirby has. They died. But he believes this practice should make him immortal. I agree. As do the Ripley people.

And finally, here’s a story that has Fenwick leaping for joy! We may have temporarily lost Hostess Twinkies, but we now have a healthy alternative, hons. That’s right, it’s Sushi Donuts. The Mister Donut company has proven to be a true humanitarian enterprise, offering donuts made up like sushi. You can have your morning sugar fix, while imagining that you are eating healthy, wholesome sushi. Really, when you think about it, it’s not much different from turning photons, light and vibrations into physical nutrition.

Happy weekend, hons!

IB Crabby
…outside the Mr. Donut offices

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Tell Mrs. Crabby all!