Dear Mrs. Crabby,

Sam and I are remodeling our bathroom. We both have wanted a bigger shower for the two of us to shower together since we bought our dream house. What fun it was to demo out the old fixtures and finishes! Who knew that swinging a sledgehammer with grim purpose could be such a powerful aphrodisiac. We have been having the most fun between the sheets since our honeymoon!

But now that the new finishes are ready to go on, we are having the worst problem ever. We picked out a gorgeous tile for the shower.  It’s a smaller tile with a lovely blend of sea colors. The shower has a partial wall that separates the shower from the spa tub. The tile that goes here needs to be installed in an upright position. But every single time we try to install it, it falls off and won’t stay. We have tried all the adhesives that the store has to offer. We even called my cousin Jeff, who is a tile man. Jeff came over and even he couldn’t figure it out.

We can’t use the shower until the tile is in. So frustrating. Every single time we set the tile onto a new adhesive, it will not stay upright and falls off.

What are we doing wrong, Mrs. Crabby? We are tired of having to shower in the kids bathroom and tripping over their tub toys.





Dear Desperate,

You poor hons. This is really not at all as uncommon a problem as you might think. The technical term for it is “Erect Tile Dysfunction.” I know. I can hear the groans from here. But really, it is a thing.

It’s tough to find, but I recommend searching out a wonderful product called “Viagrout.” It comes in a signature blue tub and will keep that tile upright, probably longer than the house will last. Additionally, you might also want to use a radical product called the “Petile Implant.” You insert this strong, straw like, P-shaped webbing behind the tile and slide the tiles between the slots. Then cover with the Viagrout. And most important of all, you need a good strong caulk to help it stay up. Since it’s going into a wet shower, you also might want to consider covering the tiles with a Buttering.

It’ll be a bit more expensive this way, but hey, sometimes you have to go to outside the box in these situations. 

Give these products a try. I’m sure you will find that happy ending at last!

Good Luck,

IB Crabby

That is some tiny tile!

It does keep falling!

Tell Mrs. Crabby all!

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