THE HAIR “DOWN THERE”

Dear Mrs. Crabby,

This is so embarrassing. I am a college student and have just met the most wonderful young man. We’ve been dating for eight months and I am head over heels in love with “Carl.” We have only one huge dividing issue. Carl wants me to get a Brazilian wax job. A lot of my sorority sisters have done this and say it is no big deal. Even though they come home with their eyes red from crying when they get it done. It just sounds so painful.

All their boyfriends say it is really hot. And the girls agree that it’s worth the temporary pain.

I am just really creeped out by this. Isn’t it unhealthy not to have any hair “down there,” Mrs. Crabby?

What’s the skinny on this? I want to please Carl because I do love him, and he is a caring, loving fellow. Can you help me overcome my objections?

Signed,

“Hair”iette

 

Dear “Hair”iette,

Hon, this is not a new wrinkle in our mating habits. The Queen of Sheba, in 900 BC, drove King Solomon wild with desire when they met and she showed off her hairlessness when she opened her robe on a mirrored floor. In 500 BC this became considered a hygienic practice and common place esthetic.

Even Roman men had their leg hair removed and showed off their smoothness wearing tunics. They used to singe off the hair with hot nutshells. Our modern-day practice of ripping the hair out with hot wax is far less painful, I think. After the Roman empire fell, hairiness came back into the commonplace norm and was equated with fertility. Not to mention a far more welcoming home to crabs and lice. 

So, hon, suffice it to say that Brazilian waxes are not a new practice. There is nothing creepy about them. The biggest issue is pain management. It’s a temporary pain. I’d say, try it once. Be adventurous. Wouldn’t it be ironic if you ended up liking it and Carl found it creepy? Life can be silly that way.

And if you can’t overcome your personal objections, don’t worry. At some point in the future, you will lose most of that hair naturally. Or it will turn white and fine and you won’t even notice it. That comes with aging and post childbirth. Assuming Carl hangs in there that long. Here’s hoping for you!

Good luck,

IB Crabby

Soooo sweet

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