Dear Mrs. Crabby, Ma’am,

My name is Susie and I am 7 years old. My mother said to write to you. She said you are smart and would know how to help.

OK. Here goes. It’s my school. There is an icky boy and his friend in the 4th grade. They clogged all the toilets up with all the towels and toilet paper and even Stinky Jones Monday homework. The toilets got overflowed and there was poop everywhere. This was just in the boys bathroom.

My mother said that the icky boy and his friend should be expelled for this. But they weren’t. The school locked ALL the bathrooms except the teacher bathrooms so we can’t go when we need to go. First we have to ask, like always. But then we have to sign a paper. Then we have to find the janitor who has the only key. Then we have to wait while he finds the key. And sometimes by then, we’ve already gone in our pants. Half the girls in my class have to take medicine now that will keep them from peeing, because they got infections. The rose garden in the back of school is dying because boys sneak back there to pee.

How come the whole school has to be punished because of two boys, who only got talked to (and laughed about it after) or even suspended?




Dear Susie,

First of all, thank you for writing to me, hon. It’s a bold and brave thing to do, to speak out. Now, to your issue, so to speak.

We live in a stupidly redesigned “politically correct” society. This brave new world structure of “politically correct” is driven entirely by money. Period. It has nothing to do with teaching children how to be clear thinking, good citizens. It has nothing to do with teaching anything positive. Here is what you are supposed to learn,

~No matter what you do in life, you are worthless and a waste of time because you will be punished no matter what.

~Whoever is in charge can do whatever they want to you, because bullying is the best way to manage. The good news, hon, is that someday you can be in charge and hurt everyone in the room. You just have to learn how to be the biggest bully of all. And your school is certainly giving you excellent role models in that regards.

~You are a victim. There is no escaping this. It doesn’t matter if you study and work hard and earn good grades and do nice things in the community. You will be shat upon no matter what, because those in charge can get away with it. And you’d best just keep quiet about it, if you know what’s good for you.

Now, Susie, as I first said, this is all about money. The misbehaving children cannot be singled out because the school is afraid that their parents will take them to court and sue them for what is called “damages.” Here is a math lesson: “damages” = “money.” And “money” = “success.”  Nowadays the economy is so very weak that everyone is willing to throw out their kindness, good sense and values in order to hang onto the money that they have. There are so many ways that this money is being bled out of them – higher taxes, higher prices, that the one way to lose money fastest is by a lawsuit that will award “damages” so high that “POOF” all the money will be gone. This is particularly prevalent in the private sector, where the worst behavior usually foments.

Students, like the icky boy and his friend, must be kept in their seats at all costs. At the cost of you, Susie. At the cost of your emotional and psychological, and even to a degree just this side of criminal – physical, safety, because all seats must stay filled. And when institutions of whatever – learning, worship, health, politics – start emptying out, those who are left are easy targets to blame. And those who misbehave must be kept, for fear of lawsuit “damages”.

I have to wonder why those in charge of places failing, no matter the reason, don’t remember the old adage “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” But lately it seems that anger, vitriol and abuse seem to be trumping kindness in so many places. It’s just sad and silly billy of people.

I recommend to you, Susie, to give yourself affirmations every day. An affirmation is a declaration of what is good about you, given to you. You can do this for yourself. When you are grown up you will learn a physical way of doing this, but I won’t go into detail as it is not age appropriate. Make a list every day of the good things you have done. And when you go to the school, take the school work only as your task. Do not listen to these angry, small minded teachers and administrators who believe it is essential to burn down the apple tree for one bad apple. Don’t cause trouble. Don’t raise your hand. Don’t ask anything outside of work related questions. Just shut all that off, until you get home.

When you get home, make your list of “good things.” Color it up. Put on some happy music and dance in front of a mirror, watching how glorious you are, just as yourself.

Don’t let the bastards bring you down, hon.

IB Crabby

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