Dear Mrs. Crabby,
All day, every day, week in and week out I just give and do and give and do for others. I have never complained, until now. I do not get so much as even a “thank you” for all I do for my family, my neighbors, my kids’ schools, my parents, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on.
I cook all the meals, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the cars, mow the lawn, clean the rain gutters, snake the clogged toilets, pay the bills, do the taxes, etc. etc. Everything.
Last Thanksgiving I was so tired of being treated as if I am invisible, I served Thanksgiving dinner completely nude. Nobody noticed! The only one who slightly noticed was my husband’s mother. She leaned over to my husband and said “Wanda’s put on some weight, hasn’t she?” And my husband just grunted, then ripped another bite off the turkey leg with his teeth.
I know I should do for myself, but by the end of the day I am so bushed, all I can do is brush my teeth and fall into bed. My husband comes home and falls asleep in his chair after a few beers and a highball, and he’s no help. It’d be nice to have some time for romance, even just once a week! Though occasionally I will wake up with him going at me through the “back door” at 2 or 3 in the morning, which I find remarkably rude and one-sided! He doesn’t even bother to wake me up! Just wham! slam! then he rolls over and starts snoring.
I am very close to losing it and just running for the hills, screaming.
How do I get thanks for what I do? It’s really very frustrating.
Worn Out Wanda
Wanda, hon, you want THANKS for what you do?
*wipes tears* That’s a good one, hon!
Seriously now – your problem is that if you want thanks and appreciation, you have to stop being this,
And teach your family to treat you as the queen you are!
Now, in order to accomplish your dream, here are some tips –
Place coin jars in the kitchen and laundry room. Post the amounts you want each family member to pay for the job. Meals can be $1 per person. A load of laundry, maybe .75 cents. And stop performing these chores until they are paid for. When your family asks what is going on, cheerfully say (and be sincerely cheerful and happy) “Think of it as saying Thank You for everything I do.”
With your husband, present him with a monthly invoice for all the other chores you do. When he asks what the *&$@ is going on, tell him (again, cheerfully), that of course he doesn’t need to cut you a check or pay you cash. That you will be collecting these invoices for the year and come Christmas time you will be buying yourself a gift that will equal the total amount of the invoices. And he can consider that as making up for his lack of appreciation.
This way, your family can continue to behave as ungrateful toads, but you will make out like a bandit. If they complain, simply tell them that they can begin to shower you with affection and even help with the chores in addition to thanking you in order to keep their money.
Either way you come out ahead, hon.
Good luck now,