TRICKS AND TREATS

Hi Hons!

It’s getting close to that most wonderful holiday full of sweets, good cheer and perky home decorations!! That’s right, Halloween! Here are some early tricks and treats to help you get into the moooooood!!

A couple humorous costumes – Job Hunters!! Have the neighbors laughing when you come up their walk for some of their free candy handouts!

 

Dear Mrs. Crabby, I am so bored with our usual Halloween decorations. Can you suggest something different and unusual for this year? Signed Worn Out Witch
Dear WOW, You bet, hon! Go into your back yard and dig up your son’s old lizard pet. Tie some invisible fishing line to his arms and legs and have him spooking those little costumed tykes like nobody’s business!!

 

Dear Mrs. Crabby, My extremely anorexic daughter says that Halloween is boring, even though she eyes the bags of candy I’ve purchased with slobbering avarice. She says she’ll do whatever I say for Halloween. What do you suggest? Signed Frustrated Mom
Dear F.M. – Well, since she’s most of the way to being a skeleton, use some rope and suspend her from your porch roof and have her give out the candy. It will also be a fun treat if she eats a bunch of it and then spews it back on the revelers! Just make sure to have extra paper towels handy as an additional treat if needed!

 

Lucky Mother Crabby! She never needs a costume for Halloween!

 

Dear Mrs. Crabby, My son is a middle schooler who says costumes are dumb. Then he turns around and asks what he should be for Halloween. When I suggest anything, it’s always “No, that’s dumb.” What do you suggest? Mostly Out Of “Dumb” Ideas.
Dear MOODI, Simple! Satisfy both sides of your “this way that way” teen!! Like this:
Tell him he’s half dumb and half scary! Just don’t say which side is which.

 

To all you pet owners – please forego making your pets wear Halloween costumes this year! Just for once. Here is an extremely cruel video of Cats being forced to wear Halloween Costumes.


And the worst part? They are made to wear Dog Costumes!!! So wrong, hons!!

 

Now, hons, as to the candy you will hand out to the little revelers. This year be true to the spirit of Halloween and give out candy that befits the holiday! Like this:
(at last I know what to do with all those crickets that keep getting into our rooms!)
Go over to Candy Warehouse and buy some REAL Halloween treats that are also excellent tricks! You’ll be the hit of the neighborhood!! It’s worth the slightly extra price. Or you can spice up your boring “bite sized” Halloween bowl with some of these delights.

That’s all for today, hons. Start preparing now! The witches are watching. Well, at least  at our place, Mother Crabby is.

IB Crabby

Her Royal Highness “Queen of Crabs!”

Tell Mrs. Crabby all!