Dear Toddler Sam,
Your momma is correct. Boogers are not part of a balanced breakfast.
I’ve never heard of a rash growing in the shape of numbers, but there’s a first time for everything.
I’m sorry you’re having writers’ block. Honestly, hon, all you really need to do for a good horror story plot is to read the daily political headlines.
Dear Mr. Gorton,
Not everything in the sea is tasty when fried up in beer batter.
Dear Mr. Gag,
Yes. It was cruel to name your daughter “Lolly.”
You know, hon, vodka ice cubes in the orange juice might be just what your Nana needs to help her forget all about the incontinence.