1 The News is my shepherd; Sitcoms I shall not watch.

2 Paul Krugman maketh me to lie down in green dollars: he leadeth me beside the still unmoving economy.

3 Anderson Cooper restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteous indignation for his circumference’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Maddow of death, I will fear no evil lies: for Rachel art with me; her researchers and staff they comfort me.

5 Jon Stewart preparest a table before me with the presents of mine enemies’ newscasts: Amanpour anointest my head with news of war about oil; my cup runneth over with breaking news stories.

6 Surely Walters and Sawyer shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell knowledgeably in the Safer house of TV News for ever.

Amen