Dear Mrs. Crabby,
I’m really bored. Nothing interests me any more.
I thought I might take up stalking, but it’s too annoying. The person being stalked usually doesn’t like it and they get you into trouble with the police.
I changed careers. I went from being an attorney to working at Starbucks. That was refreshing for a couple of months, but now I miss the extra money. Being an attorney was just too dull, and most people don’t like it when you take them to court. I think the hostility of it all became too predictable.
Painting didn’t work for me. I’ve no talent for it and don’t like getting my hands dirty.
I like being single too much to want a relationship with anyone.
I think I’m just tired of me. And for a narcissist, this is probably not a good thing.
How do I put the skip back in my step, Mrs. Crabby? And don’t recommend charity work. I’ve tried that and it’s completely depressing to learn that you really don’t give a crap about other people.
Doused In Ennui
Hon, first kudos for knowing you’re a narcissist. That’s a big step. I’d tell you to pat yourself on the back, but you’re probably already doing it.
It sounds to me like you are experiencing the syndrome called Fundamental Unresponsive Caring, Kindness And Life Listening, or F.U.C.K.A.L.L. This can be a devastating and lifelong downturn for some people. But you are in a better position than most. You have time to respond to F.U.C.K.A.L.L. before it sucks you down into a constant and permanent state of Blah.
The most important way to counteract F.U.C.K.A.L.L. is to find one thing that interests you even for one minute and pursue it. Since people are done for you right now, you might want to take up working with primates or larger mammals. Sometimes people are able to leave F.U.C.K.A.L.L. by finding a more meaningful world with other creatures. Maybe swimming with whales? I suggest this because you say the art is not working for you, so is leaving you with F.U.C.K.A.L.L.
If working with primates or large mammals isn’t the answer, perhaps imaginary creatures will perk you up and out of that rut. Plus your hands will stay clean, though you may end up in a room by yourself with lots of pills to take every hour. Or, perhaps another craft will beat F.U.C.K.A.L.L., like macrame or pottery or model ship building? Whatever captures your interest for at least one minute – that’s what you pursue.
Don’t despair, hon. You will conquer F.U.C.K.A.L.L., you can do it!