MUST HAVE MAKEOVER!

HELP! Mrs. Crabby,

I am a 46-year-old woman who has just finished raising the last of my three children and seen them off to a job and independence! It wasn’t easy, I’ll tell you what! Between the kids, a husband who expected me to make all three meals of the day while earning enough to pay half of the bills and provide daily sexuals, plus aging parents who expected the same – well, I am just worn out! See for yourself,

Now I need to go find a second job, because Henry wants to retire and take up horse racing and you can imagine how expensive that is to support.

But no one will hire me, Mrs. Crabby. A career counselor was quite blunt and told me I look too old and unattractive and even though I have a CPA, a law degree and an MBA, it doesn’t matter if I look like this.

I need a makeover. Can you help me?

Signed,
Desperate in Pittsburgh

 

Dear DIP,

Lord, hon, you DO need help!! I’ll do what I can. If it doesn’t work, you’ll need to get a second job working from home and use an Avatar for your image.

……Pause for commercial break while Mrs. Crabby goes to work

THREE DAYS LATER…….

Hi Hons!!!

After consulting my reference materials….

….I flew to Pittsburgh to help DIP. I was shooting for this outcome:

But after hours and hours of effort, we happily settled for this:

DIP has called to report that she has an exciting new job entertaining children on the weekends, where she gets a much needed break from her demanding family responsibilities while earning that extra cash for her husband’s new hobby.

She’s a shining example for us women folk!

IB Crabby

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Tell Mrs. Crabby all!