Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why is it I can’t find a boyfriend?
Signed, Stranded
Dear Stranded,
Because you want one.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
How can I get pomegranate stains out of a T-shirt?
Signed, Spotted
Dear Spotted,
With scissors.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
What is the “pompatus” of love.
Signed, Maurice
Dear Maurice,
Only Steve Miller knows.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
What happened to “Tom-Kat?”
Signed, Curious
Dear Curious,
Five years.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why did it take so long for scientists to discover the Higgs-Boson?
Signed, Skeptical
Dear Skeptical,
Little sucker took forever to tire out in that Hadron Collider.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why do I have brown eyes when both my parents have blue eyes?
Signed, Blue Eyes
Dear Blue Eyes,
Very good question for your Momma. Best ask when Dad is at work.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why is the sky blue?
Science Student
Dear Science Student,
After being mooned, its mood clouded up and has been sad ever since.
IBC
Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why are people so mean these days?
Signed, Sad For Us
Dear Sad For Us,
That’s a great question. My theory centers somewhat on the huge spike in demand for Viagra and Cialis.
IBC
Thought for the day, hons: In these difficult times, hon, keep your sunny side up. Or, at the very least, keep your sidearm holstered.
IB Crabby