Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why is it I can’t find a boyfriend?
Signed, Stranded

Dear Stranded,
Because you want one.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
How can I get pomegranate stains out of a T-shirt?
Signed, Spotted

Dear Spotted,
With scissors.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
What is the “pompatus” of love.
Signed, Maurice

Dear Maurice,
Only Steve Miller knows.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
What happened to “Tom-Kat?”
Signed, Curious

Dear Curious,
Five years.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why did it take so long for scientists to discover the Higgs-Boson?
Signed, Skeptical

Dear Skeptical,
Little sucker took forever to tire out in that Hadron Collider.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why do I have brown eyes when both my parents have blue eyes?
Signed, Blue Eyes

Dear Blue Eyes,
Very good question for your Momma. Best ask when Dad is at work.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why is the sky blue?
Science Student

Dear Science Student,
After being mooned, its mood clouded up and has been sad ever since.
IBC

Dear Mrs. Crabby,
Why are people so mean these days?
Signed, Sad For Us

Dear Sad For Us,
That’s a great question. My theory centers somewhat on the huge spike in demand for Viagra and Cialis.
IBC

Thought for the day, hons: In these difficult times, hon, keep your sunny side up. Or, at the very least, keep your sidearm holstered.

IB Crabby