Dear Mrs. Crabby,

I keep dreaming over and over that I am a foot taller than my actual height and have a full beard. And it really itches.

What does this mean?




Dear Gladys,

There are three choices.

1. You are itching to do something scandalous and perhaps beyond your grasp (pole dancing? day trading? auditioning for NCIS?), but you don’t want anyone to know about it.

2. You’ve been hitting the fat and carbs a bit too much lately and are trying to stretch out of it instead of exercising. The beard represents the food you stuff into your face and the itching is the message to stop. Jenny Craig is in order here. Or, if you can’t afford that, a one-tined fork and a spoon with a hole in the middle.

3. You’re snacking before bed time on something with onions and trying to escape the smell in your sleep.

Those are the only choices. Pick one and go with it.

Sweeter dreams, hon.

IB Crabby

Tell Mrs. Crabby all!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.