PETTICOATS, BRADLEY IN HOLLYWOOD AND PROM

Dear Hons,

The letters are stacking up again! I do so love it when you write to me with your problems, troubles and issues. Sometimes Fenwick helps me noodle something helpful. Most times, I must tell you, he just falls asleep. For today, some quick answers to you whose problems are not quite as complicated as others –

Dear Old-Fashioned Elspeth, Of course there is nothing wrong with wearing petticoats and crinolines, if that is your style statement. Wearing them to the gym and to sleep in, though, is a bit excessive and you might want to chat with a therapist about that.

Dear Bradley in Hollywood, don’t worry about your reputation, hon. Serial dating celebrity actresses is now considered a competitive sport. And you, hon, are a champion! It keeps so many paparazzi and magazine folks employed, you are actually doing a public service. Keep it up!! In more ways than one, hon!! (though I found the transition between Rene and JLO rather like a crazed dieter going on a binge).

Dear Dateless Prom Queen, Prom can be a joyful occasion to look forward to or a grim and shameful ordeal if one is not asked to go. Ask someone yourself! It’s the modern-day and there is no shame in that. If no one at school is available to ask, ask a relative – like a cousin or hot looking uncle! That would set the tongues to wagging, hon! You can also go the artificial date route,

Don’t get too carried away and think it’s OK to get drunk because this fellow will be driving you home. Bad idea, hon. Just enjoy yourself and dance the night away! (Don’t forget the included patch kit in case Kenny pops a leak).

That’s it for now hons! I need to attend to the laundry. Don’t forget to write to me!

IB Crabby

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Tell Mrs. Crabby all!