As you might or might not know, hons, our son, Seymour, is studying taxidermy and mortuary sciences. He is doing this because, as an only child, he cannot bear the thought of living on past us. While this is just sweet as sweet can be, it’s also a good bit twisted. When he told his dad and I what he was doing, it took me a minute to figure out what he planned for our “afterlife.”
No Madame Tussaud duplicating for us, hons. It’s the real deal he wants to have posed in a room in his future house.
Imagine his joy at discovering this new method of preserving the afterlife body. Freeze Drying!
My only condition is that Seymour promises to remove all wrinkles and sagging skin, plus give my womanly attributes a “push” in the right direction. Fenwick asks only that a highball glass of bourbon be ever-present in his hand while he sits in front of the TV showing ESPN all day and night.